Maybe. Does it matter?

I do not understand why you act like this with me. I thought that you supported me in that. But maybe it was all a lie. Maybe you do not find me interesting anymore. Maybe you do not love me anymore...
Maybe I should accept that I am an annoying person. Maybe I should accept that I am not good enough. That you are tired of my sadness and of me talking non-stop. Maybe you cannot stand my bad things anymore. Maybe you are tired of me. Maybe I do not know when I should shut up and stop being annoying. Maybe you are tired of my immaturity, my dependence, my fears...
Maybe it is time for me to mature. It does not matter if I still love you more than my own life. It does not matter if you still are the reason why I get up every morning. It does not matter if you still are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. It does not matter.
Does it?

Changes.

Do you know the feeling of needing a change? You lie on your bed thinking of the old times and get to the conclusion that you need someone by your side because you're feeling numb and asleep, as if it was a dream. And you want to change yet feel you can't do it, and you have a knot in your stomach and the awful feeling that nothing will ever change because you'll always be this stupid and numb. And at the same time you have the hope that everything will magically change so you can feel happy again.
But changes aren't going to happen if you're not willing to fight for them. They aren't miracles. You'll have to fight hard and give your best and more in order to live the way you want to.
Are you ready?

Never.

I will never let you down.

Traurigkeit.

Skins 2nd generation - Frederick McLair